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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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LSD Inventor Dead

Albert Hofmann, the Swiss chemist who created the hallucinogen LSD, died the age of 102. What do you think?
  • "Shit. Did anyone remember to write down the recipe for LSD?"

    Jackie Alpert Grocer
  • "It's just like I tell my kids: If you get involved with drugs, you're going to end up dead."

    Tom Ostin Systems Analyst
  • "Oh man, there goes my hookup."

    Bart Stein Helicopter Pilot

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