adBlockCheck

After Birth

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
End Of Section
  • More News

Mackenzie Phillips Had Sex With Father

Actress Mackenzie Phillips, star of One Day At A Time, writes in her new memoir that she had a consensual sexual relationship with her father, John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas. What do you think?
  • "That is absolutely revolting. Who in their right mind would pick Mackenzie over Chynna?"

    Christie McQuern Systems Analyst
  • "Seriously? But John Phillips wrote some of the squarest la-la-la pop music ever."

    Keith Cervantes Flag Designer
  • "In that case, I owe my fulminating, hippie-baiting dad an apology."

    Carl Splichalova Ignition Specialist

After Birth

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close