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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Macy’s Announces Store Closures, Layoffs

Following a sluggish holiday season and seven consecutive quarters of losses, Macy’s plans to shutter 63 of their locations and lay off 10,000 workers this spring. What do you think?

  • “That’s my bad. I haven’t bought a thing from any of those 63 locations in months.”

    Monique Lasser Systems Analyst
  • “Macy’s was always my favorite department store to walk through on my way to Wetzel’s Pretzels.”

    Dominic Dyrda Spatula Packager
  • “I knew the heady thrill of shopping local would have consequences.”

    Keith Finnegan Drawer Repairman

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