Madoff Pleads Guilty To Fraud

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Vol 45 Issue 11

Area Man Down To Final Week Of Heyday

CHICAGO—"I'm having a blast," said Brian Konig, unaware that work-related stress and financial responsibility will soon put a tragic end to his personal apex.

Christian Salt Introduced

After reportedly tiring of hearing chefs on television recommend kosher salt, a retired barber has introduced Blessed Christians Salt, which is sea salt blessed by an Episcopal priest. What to you think?
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Madoff Pleads Guilty To Fraud

Bernard Madoff, the money manager accused of running the largest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history, pleaded guilty to charges this morning in a New York court. What do you think?
  • "I wouldn't be surprised if someone pays to have him revenge-embezzled in the yard."

    Timothy Peterson
    Driving Instructor
  • "People are really going to be pissed when they find out that Bernard Madoff is just a Brooks Brothers suit stuffed with feathers."

    Joel Watson
    Tooling Engineer
  • "With a 150-year prison sentence to serve, he's going to be in killer shape."

    Melody Tripp
    Embalmer
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