adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
End Of Section
  • More News

Madonna An 'Ambassador For Judaism'

Madonna, meeting with Israeli President Shimon Peres, told him that she was an ambassador for Judaism, despite not being Jewish herself. What do you think?
  • "I hope Jews reject that claim. The economy of La Isla Bonita is still in ruins after her tenure as finance minister in 1987."

    Adam McCaulley Marketing Executive
  • "I guess that explains why her private jet firebombed Lebanon on the way to Israel."

    Jake Palley Bouncer
  • "As the self-appointed ambassador for Madonna, I will speak for her and say that she's lost her mind."

    Shira Rosenthal Data Secialist

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close