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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Madonna Endorses 'Black Muslim' Obama

During a concert in Washington, D.C. Monday, pop singer Madonna urged the crowd to support President Barack Obama, whom she referred to as a “black Muslim in the White House” amid an impassioned, profanity-laced political speech. What do you think?

  • “Doesn’t she realize how much media attention comments like this draw to her?”

    Ian Bialek Systems Analyst
  • “Did she happen to mention who she likes for Indiana attorney general? I’m still on the fence.”

    Ernie Ingram Reservoir Caretaker
  • “Well, I just hope everyone still enjoyed themselves at her concert and felt like they got their money’s worth.”

    Annabelle McCurdy Lamp Wirer
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