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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Madrid Bans ‘Manspreading’ On Public Buses

Buses in Madrid will now feature signs prohibiting “manspreading,” the practice of spreading one’s legs across more than one seat. What do you think?

  • “This should definitely solve the problem, given how diligent people are about obeying all posted rules on buses.”

    Amanda Clegg Home Forecloser
  • “I guess I’ll just have to take my tourism money somewhere that appreciates my unacceptable behavior.”

    Walter Etheridge Denim Stretcher
  • “Will they accept a doctor’s note explaining my hideously bow-legged condition?”

    Matt Coppock Starch Magnate

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