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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Major Obama Donor Accused Of Fraud

Abake Assongba, a New York woman who with her husband contributed $50,000 to the Obama campaign, is accused of defrauding people out of more than $650,000 and using the money to build a house. What do you think?

  • "Can this donor get around the charge by declaring herself a corporation? Then I think she'd be in the clear."

    Alan Tapia Paster
  • "Obviously Obama has to give the money back, but as a gesture of good faith, he should also burn their house down."

    Katie Warren Register Repairer
  • "I hope no one vets me. I donated $5, and one time I stole a bracelet from Target."

    Dan Thompson MVA-Reactor Operator
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