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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Majority Of Americans Now Support Legalizing Marijuana

According to the Pew Research Center, 52 percent of Americans are now in favor of legalizing marijuana while only 45 percent oppose it, marking the first time in over 40 years of polling by the company that a majority of citizens have backed pot’s legalization. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but Pew’s a bunch of stoners.”

    Peggy Gonneau Food Truck Operator
  • “Great news. I look forward to a society where I can don my Chronic the Hemphog T-shirt with pride.”

    Earl Clotworthy Systems Analyst
  • “How are we doing on Angel Dust reform?”

    Daniel Sampler Histopathologist
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