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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Male Millennials More Likely To Live With Parents

According to a new study, 36 percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 31 lived with their parents in 2012, with 4 in 10 male millennials still living at home as compared to 32 percent of females. What do you think?

  • “What kind of loser gets subjected to rampant unemployment and the skyrocketing cost of living?”

    Troy Daniels Naturopathic Physician
  • “Yes! I always knew I was in the vanguard of a dawning trend.”

    Jeff Sheldrick Cigar Roller
  • “Of course my 25-year-old son needs to stay at home. Who is going to massage my calves and cut the stray threads off my area rugs?”

    Shirley Fox Inventory Clerk

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