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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Male Students Overestimate Male Classmates

A study of gender bias in the classroom found that male college students consistently overestimated and gave more credit to male classmates than female ones, even when the latter group earned higher grades. What do you think?

  • “Overstating their abilities is just one of the many great skills men have.”

    Blake Tierney Unemployed
  • “But think of how exciting it must be when a guy gets that rare chance to be surprised by a woman he’s been underestimating this whole time.”

    Harvey Lund Placard Hanger
  • “I hope that’s not all that the researchers learned. The first semester should cover way more stuff.”

    Bella Harriman Snack Consultant

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