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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Mallard Fillmore Scribe DUI

Edward Bruce Tinsley, the creator of conservative-duck comic strip Mallard Fillmore, was arrested on DUI charges. What do you think?
  • "As a longtime Fillmore fan, I have to ask myself, what would a reactionary duck have to say about this?"

    Cara Libowitz Acupuncturist
  • "Is that a pun on our thirteenth president Millard Fillmore? I just got that, just now."

    Doug Troutman Telephone Installer
  • "This is so typical of the liberal media. Tinsley has a couple drinks and it's all over the news, but Cathy Guisewite gets all whacked out on PCP and punches a cop and you barely hear a thing about it."

    Matt Behling Systems Analyst
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