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Man Arrested In Federal Reserve Bomb Plot

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Man Arrested In Federal Reserve Bomb Plot

A 21-year-old Bangladeshi man who allegedly claimed ties to al-Qaeda has been accused of attempting to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank in Lower Manhattan with a van full of inoperable explosives supplied to him by undercover agents. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, I did a lot of stupid stuff like that when I was 21, too.”

    Norine Kutchaver Unemployed
  • “Al-Qaeda? Boy, that takes me back.”

    Michael Prentice Airport Manager
  • “How cute would it be if the guy, right as he tried to detonate it, put his fingers in his ears in preparation for this big loud boom he thought was coming?”

    Stuart Krogman Egg Pasteurizer

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