adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
End Of Section
  • More News

Man Arrested Trying To Board Flight With M-80s

Authorities in Philadelphia arrested a 29-year-old man trying to board a flight to San Francisco with commercial-grade M-80s and a bottle of flash powder. What do you think?

  • "There are so many different kinds of fireworks, how is anyone supposed to remember which ones are allowed on planes?"

    Eric Kipper Systems Analyst
  • "So now it’s the government’s business when a man wants to blow up dog poop across state lines?"

    Felicia Sandor Organ-Pipe Voicer
  • "Putting the fireworks kiosk in the Philadelphia airport was definitely a bad idea."

    Pat Nicholson Glass Bender

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close