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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Man Hacks Into Plane’s Flight Controls Using Phone App

To draw attention to the vulnerabilities of flight control systems, a security consultant created an app for his Android phone that lets him remotely seize control of a jetliner’s autopilot function, potentially allowing him to alter its flight path or crash the plane. What do you think?

  • “What kind of social media integration does it have? Because I wouldn’t want Facebook flooding everyone’s news feed every time I crash a plane.”

    Kent Van Zant Liquor Store Clerk
  • “I’m fine with this being publicly available as long as people agree to only alter the flight path and never crash the plane.”

    Jimmy Shelton Cylinder Checker
  • “Did he make one of those apps where he says it’s free but then bombards you with ads? It’s like, I’d rather just pay the 99 cents.”

    Buffy Yee Systems Analyst
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