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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Man To Skydive From Edge Of Space

With sponsorship from energy-drink maker Red Bull, Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner will ride a helium balloon to the edge of outer space and skydive from a record height of 23 miles, provided weather conditions allow. What do you think?

  • “That Red Bull should help him stay awake during that super boring fall.”

    Patsy Collingwood Unemployed
  • “He’s just doing it for the attention; nobody give it to him.”

    Craig Westerby Delinquent-Account Clerk
  • “It’s just like Red Bull’s slogan: ‘Red Bull will fucking kill you.’”

    Bernard Henson Horse Exerciser
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