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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Man With 'Popcorn Lung' Awarded $7 Million

A jury awarded $7.2 million in damages to a man diagnosed with “Popcorn Lung,” a respiratory disease he may have developed from inhaling a chemical in artificial butter flavoring during a decade in which he ate two bags of microwave popcorn a day. What do you think?

  • “Wow, that must have been some decade!”

    Miles Corkery Edge Sander
  • “Did he mention what brand it was? If he was eating that much, it must be pretty good popcorn.”

    Randy McGlone Phone Book Deliverer
  • “He should have read the warning about keeping the product well away from one’s nose and mouth.”

    Marilyn Cheshire Wharf Attendant

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