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Manson, Von Teese Split

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Manson, Von Teese Split

Burlesque performer Dita Von Teese has reportedly filed for divorce from shock-rocker Marilyn Manson. What do you think?
  • "They had a pretty standard marital disagreement: She wanted to have kids, he wanted to take a shit on them."

    Kiki Javerbaum Gymnastics Coach
  • "Hear that, ladies? The dating scene just got exponentially more horrifying."

    Calvin Dumas Poultry Farmer
  • "I'm proud of her for making it this far. Statistically speaking, marriages to androgynous Satanist wingnuts rarely survive more than six months."

    Brian Warner Systems Analyst

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