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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Manson, Von Teese Split

Burlesque performer Dita Von Teese has reportedly filed for divorce from shock-rocker Marilyn Manson. What do you think?
  • "They had a pretty standard marital disagreement: She wanted to have kids, he wanted to take a shit on them."

    Kiki Javerbaum Gymnastics Coach
  • "Hear that, ladies? The dating scene just got exponentially more horrifying."

    Calvin Dumas Poultry Farmer
  • "I'm proud of her for making it this far. Statistically speaking, marriages to androgynous Satanist wingnuts rarely survive more than six months."

    Brian Warner Systems Analyst

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