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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Many More Chernobyl Victims?

A new Greenpeace report argues that 10 times as many people died from the Chernobyl disaster than official estimates claimed at the time. What do you think?
  • "Is Greenpeace counting the two-headed people twice? Because that's not fair."

    Rachel Galland Systems Analyst
  • "'Chernobyl' is such an ugly word. Can't we call it something pleasant, like 'Love Canal'?"

    Geoff Martinez Mail Carrier
  • "Once again, Greenpeace: Thanks for brightening my day."

    Ishmael Roland Radiologist
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