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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Mardi Gras 2006?

Mardi Gras organizers in New Orleans promised that they will hold the celebration in February 2006 as planned, despite the destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina. What do you think?

  • "Imagine: all the fun of Mardi Gras combined with all the logistical nightmares of Kevin Costner's Waterworld."

    Rachel Briggs Systems Analyst
  • "That sucks. You know how hard it is to get a chick to take off her dive mask, remove her rebreather, roll up her scuba suit, and show her tits?"

    Alvin McMichaels Roofer
  • "I don't know if I would go to it. I would have a hard time getting excited about mold-themed floats."

    Jensen Clymer Illustrator
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