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Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

The Onion Weather Center looks at New York City where heavy rain causes obnoxious loving couples to come out and walk around the city like a bunch of assholes who have never seen rain before, and an impending blackout gives the city's working class its...

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:
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Mariah Carey Pregnant

Pop singer Mariah Carey announced that she and her husband Nick Cannon are expecting a baby next spring. What do you think?

  • "How inspirational. Now I'm going to go have a baby."

    Jackie Vandermark Unemployed
  • "She's a brave woman to defy the doctors who said she shouldn't have children because of the risk of permanent damage to her ass shapeliness."

    Oren Bishop Systems Analyst
  • "That's great news! I was just heading to my shift at the suicide hotline and was totally drawing a blank on a reason why people should live."

    Sean Posa Counselor

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