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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Mariah Carey Pregnant

Pop singer Mariah Carey announced that she and her husband Nick Cannon are expecting a baby next spring. What do you think?

  • "How inspirational. Now I'm going to go have a baby."

    Jackie Vandermark Unemployed
  • "She's a brave woman to defy the doctors who said she shouldn't have children because of the risk of permanent damage to her ass shapeliness."

    Oren Bishop Systems Analyst
  • "That's great news! I was just heading to my shift at the suicide hotline and was totally drawing a blank on a reason why people should live."

    Sean Posa Counselor

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