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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Mariah Spawns Twins

Singer Mariah Carey gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl, on Saturday. What do you think?

  • "This settles it: She's way better than Whitney Houston."

    Max Ferguson Mine Surveyor
  • “Those lucky kids are going to get screamed at in octaves most children can only dream of."

    Nicki Udhin Wig Dresser
  • "That's great news! Now our country finally has something to be happy about."

    Harlan Raven Unemployed
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