Mariah Spawns Twins

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Vol 47 Issue 18

Area Woman Marries Into Health Insurance

SAN FRANCISCO—The motives of local woman Janet Debois, 28, came under scrutiny Sunday following accusations that she had only married Vince Davidson, 31, for his generous health insurance policy.

U.S. Sets Tornado Record

The National Weather Service reported a new record for number of tornadoes in a day, with 312 counted in a 24-hour period last week.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Mariah Spawns Twins

Singer Mariah Carey gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl, on Saturday. What do you think?

  • "This settles it: She's way better than Whitney Houston."

    Max Ferguson
    Mine Surveyor
  • “Those lucky kids are going to get screamed at in octaves most children can only dream of."

    Nicki Udhin
    Wig Dresser
  • "That's great news! Now our country finally has something to be happy about."

    Harlan Raven
    Unemployed
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