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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Marijuana Vending Machine Unveiled In Colorado

A company called American Green has unveiled an automated, climate-controlled pot vending machine called the ZaZZZ, which dispenses medical marijuana only and uses ID fraud technology to verify users’ ages. What do you think?

  • “Nothing legitimizes medicine like selling it from a vending machine.”

    Joe Hayes 3D Animator
  • “This sounds like something a stoned person came up with and a sober friend implemented.”

    Adam Cantor Lens Mounter
  • “Can I still have an awkward conversation with the machine while I’m waiting for it to give me my drugs?”

    Kristen Cuddeback Daycare Assistant
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