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Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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Marine Faces Discharge For Anti-Obama Facebook Posts

A U.S. Marine sergeant who started a Facebook page called Armed Forces Tea Party may be dismissed from the corps for violating Pentagon directives on political speech by active soldiers. What do you think?

  • "I don't understand why he feels the need to express his political viewpoints. Isn't being a faceless killing machine gratification enough?"

    Bert Treece Fabric Lay-Out Worker
  • "Yeah, well, maybe the president should stop searching for himself on Facebook and get back to work."

    Larry Fay Mosaicist
  • “That’s it! I’m defriending the Pentagon as we speak.”

    Sharon Rathke Unemployed

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