adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
End Of Section
  • More News

Married People More Likely To Beat Cancer

A recent study found that married people are 20 percent more likely to survive a battle with cancer than their unmarried peers. What do you think?

  • “You can also save a ton of money splitting stuff like the cable bill and rent.”

    Erwin Stroud Consultant
  • “This just makes my husband’s death that much more embarrassing.”

    Chrissy Hurley Auctioneer
  • “I also keep a couple mistresses just to be extra safe.”

    Brian Susi Hide Inspector
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close