adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
End Of Section
  • More News

Married People More Likely To Beat Cancer

A recent study found that married people are 20 percent more likely to survive a battle with cancer than their unmarried peers. What do you think?

  • “You can also save a ton of money splitting stuff like the cable bill and rent.”

    Erwin Stroud Consultant
  • “This just makes my husband’s death that much more embarrassing.”

    Chrissy Hurley Auctioneer
  • “I also keep a couple mistresses just to be extra safe.”

    Brian Susi Hide Inspector

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close