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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Married People More Likely To Beat Cancer

A recent study found that married people are 20 percent more likely to survive a battle with cancer than their unmarried peers. What do you think?

  • “You can also save a ton of money splitting stuff like the cable bill and rent.”

    Erwin Stroud Consultant
  • “This just makes my husband’s death that much more embarrassing.”

    Chrissy Hurley Auctioneer
  • “I also keep a couple mistresses just to be extra safe.”

    Brian Susi Hide Inspector

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