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Martha's Mess

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
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Martha's Mess

Implicated in the ImClone trading scandal, Martha Stewart is now accused of illegally dumping her own company's stock, as well. What do you think?
  • "You'd think Martha, of all people, would know how to put those worthless old stock certificates to good use instead of just dumping them."

    Linda Symanski Realtor
  • "Have they built a jail cell strong enough to hold her?"

    Benjamin <br>Robison Systems Analyst
  • "Poor Martha. She showed a lost and confused world how to spruce up those ho-hum wall sconces, and this is how we thank her."

    Beth Atkinson Graduate <br>Student
  • Young Man "I really don't think it's right for us to act as Martha Stewart's judge, jury, and executioner. Executioner will have to do."

    Frank Bergin Contractor
  • "Funny, the Martha Stewart Living web site doesn't mention anything about this."

    George Adamle Civil Engineer
  • "First the Catholic Church, now Martha. Who's going to be left to make us feel bad about ourselves?"

    Norman Linn File Clerk

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