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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Marvel Announces Thor Will Now Be Represented As A Woman

Marvel Comics has announced that the character Thor will now be represented as a woman, though she will still be referred to as the “God of Thunder” and wield the hammer of Thor, with officials explaining that “if we can accept Thor as a frog and a horse-faced alien, we should be able to accept a woman.” What do you think?

  • “Hopefully this will inspire all the young girls out there who dream of one day wielding the enchanted hammer Mjölnir.”

    Gary Fotchman Unemployed
  • “Finally, the world is ready to accept a beautiful, blond, Scandinavian woman.”

    Macland Pierce Snorkel Shack Owner
  • “As long as the character is still white.”

    Rebecca Champlain Inventory Taker

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