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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Marvel Comics Announces Muslim Girl Superhero

Marvel will introduce a new comic book series in February with a lead character named Kamala Khan, a teenage Muslim female who lives in Jersey City, NJ and who uses her shape-changing superpower to fight villains. What do you think?

  • “I think I’m in love.”

    Neil Du Prez Sheep Herder
  • “I don’t think we’re ready for a superhero from New Jersey.”

    Terence Pethig Bookkeeper
  • “There they go again, telling girls they have to change their shape.”

    Sophie Shamberg Bracelet Maker

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