Mass Transit Use Increases

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Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?

Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
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Mass Transit Use Increases

Predictably, rising gas prices have led to an increase in mass-transit use. What do you think?
  • "Mass transit is a perfect solution. The thought of wasting money on gas disgusts me, and the thought of walking anywhere downright terrifies me."

    Julia Harrison
    Technical Consultant
  • "On the bright side, the additional people on the subways gives me a whole new variety of potential stab victims."

    Joe Varick
    Office Manager
  • "I miss being alone in my car. You should see the looks I get when I toss my empty McDonald's wrappers in the row behind me, sing along loudly to my music, and flip people off."

    Erik Doe
    Systems Analyst