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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.
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Maternal Obesity May Be Autism Factor

A study of 1,000 children in California found that mothers who suffered from obesity, diabetes, or hypertension had a greater chance of giving birth to an autistic child, with those who were obese during their pregnancy being 67 percent more likely to have a child with autism. What do you think?

  • "As an obese father of three autistic children, it's a huge relief to know it was Maureen's fault."

    Jon Hauer Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, scientists are getting really good at identifying things that may cause autism."

    Sarah Ebrahimi Hand-Etcher
  • "Bullshit. My mom's a fat whale and diabetic, and the only thing wrong with me is that I'm an asshole."

    David Wells Unemployed

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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

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