adBlockCheck

Recent News

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
End Of Section
  • More News

Maternal Obesity May Be Autism Factor

A study of 1,000 children in California found that mothers who suffered from obesity, diabetes, or hypertension had a greater chance of giving birth to an autistic child, with those who were obese during their pregnancy being 67 percent more likely to have a child with autism. What do you think?

  • "As an obese father of three autistic children, it's a huge relief to know it was Maureen's fault."

    Jon Hauer Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, scientists are getting really good at identifying things that may cause autism."

    Sarah Ebrahimi Hand-Etcher
  • "Bullshit. My mom's a fat whale and diabetic, and the only thing wrong with me is that I'm an asshole."

    David Wells Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close