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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Mayor Of Trenton Arrested

Trenton, NJ mayor Tony Mack was arrested on corruption charges Monday following an FBI sting operation in which he allegedly accepted $119,000 in kickbacks for selling city land to parking garage developers for below its assessed value. What do you think?

  • “You’d think a guy named ‘Tony Mack’ would be more trustworthy.”

    Graham Loveday Credit Union President
  • “I just hope that one day I can return to believing that parking garages are created through a perfect synergy of vision and integrity.”

    Lance Frisch Mess Cook
  • “I think the government is going to have a very tough time proving in court that any Trenton land is undervalued.”

    Grace Manousakis Solderer
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