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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Mayor Of Trenton Arrested

Trenton, NJ mayor Tony Mack was arrested on corruption charges Monday following an FBI sting operation in which he allegedly accepted $119,000 in kickbacks for selling city land to parking garage developers for below its assessed value. What do you think?

  • “You’d think a guy named ‘Tony Mack’ would be more trustworthy.”

    Graham Loveday Credit Union President
  • “I just hope that one day I can return to believing that parking garages are created through a perfect synergy of vision and integrity.”

    Lance Frisch Mess Cook
  • “I think the government is going to have a very tough time proving in court that any Trenton land is undervalued.”

    Grace Manousakis Solderer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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