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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Mayor Says To Lose Weight

Mick Cornett, the mayor of Oklahoma City, has challenged every citizen to lose a collective 1 million pounds in an effort to help the state capital shed the distinction of being one of America's fattest cities. What do you think?
  • "If they're really serious about attaining this goal, the first thing they need to do is stop eating each other."

    Sam Kennedy Medical Transcriber
  • "Collective weight loss will take forever. Just take it all off Mama Dunster. She's got at least a million and a half to give."

    Jess MacNamara Field Manager
  • "What, and go back to being famous for that smell?"

    Larry Queenan Camp Counselor

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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