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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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McCain Cribs Speech From Wikipedia

A Wikipedia editor claims that John McCain's speech about the Russian-Georgian hostilities was largely lifted from the website's entry on Georgia. What do you think?
  • "Really? I'm going to go put my name in Wikipedia's 'Health Care' article and wait to see if I get mentioned in the debates."

    Peter Tong Grocer
  • "What a sorry way to treat the nation of Georgia, whose capital, Tbilisi, was featured in Splinter Cell for Xbox and PC."

    Blaine Principle Systems Analyst
  • "I don't see what the big deal is. I ripped off Wikipedia when you guys asked me about that Kosher meatpacking plant the other day."

    Carol Williams Quality Control Inspector

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