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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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McDonald's Is Hiring

On Tuesday, McDonald's held a National Hiring Day in which people across the country lined up to fill the planned 50,000 positions the company offered. What do you think?

  • "I am happy to see that, at last, McDonald's is trying to rid itself of its snotty, elitist, better-than-you employer image."

    Sam Escovedo Denture Maker
  • "That doesn't sound so bad. I'm sure my family would rather I came home smelling like burgers and fries than have me never leave the house at all and continue to smell like myself."

    Nick Melvoin Unemployed
  • "This should really help lower the unemployment rate, which is at a staggering 68 percent among degenerate adult pinheads and greasy-faced little twerps."

    Liz Coleman Sample Sawyer

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