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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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McDonald's Sales Down For First Time In 9 Years

McDonald’s worldwide sales fell 1.8 percent in October, marking the first drop in the fast food chain’s monthly sales figures since April 2003. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, I’ve been making my own Spicy Chicken McBites at home.”

    Rocco Bonifant Warehouse Guard
  • “Uh-oh. Did another restaurant learn how to make hamburgers?”

    Yvonne Weeks Hosiery Salesperson
  • “Maybe they should stop dragging their heels on that McRib shake, then.”

    Les Baxter Can Filler
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