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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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McDonald's Sales Down For First Time In 9 Years

McDonald’s worldwide sales fell 1.8 percent in October, marking the first drop in the fast food chain’s monthly sales figures since April 2003. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, I’ve been making my own Spicy Chicken McBites at home.”

    Rocco Bonifant Warehouse Guard
  • “Uh-oh. Did another restaurant learn how to make hamburgers?”

    Yvonne Weeks Hosiery Salesperson
  • “Maybe they should stop dragging their heels on that McRib shake, then.”

    Les Baxter Can Filler
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