McDonald’s Testing 60-Second Drive-Thru Guarantee

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

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McDonald’s Testing 60-Second Drive-Thru Guarantee

Select McDonald’s restaurants in South Florida are testing out a new promotion that guarantees drive-thru customers a 60-seconds-or-less wait period for food or else they’ll get a free sandwich on a future visit, which has drawn criticism from worker advocates, though McDonald’s says it believes it will “energize the crew” and “entertain guests.” What do you think?

  • “I’m not sure it’s possible for me to be more entertained at the McDonald’s drive-thru, but hey, go for it!”

    Gerry Bryson
    Water Fountain Repairer
  • “I sure hope they can stick to that time frame, because my misgivings about eating at McDonald’s usually kick in around the 75-second mark.”

    Richard Sztaba
    Cord Untangler
  • “A free sandwich is the least they can offer for keeping me from eating something for a whole 60 seconds.”

    Susan Littenberg
    Unemployed
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