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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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McDonald’s Testing 60-Second Drive-Thru Guarantee

Select McDonald’s restaurants in South Florida are testing out a new promotion that guarantees drive-thru customers a 60-seconds-or-less wait period for food or else they’ll get a free sandwich on a future visit, which has drawn criticism from worker advocates, though McDonald’s says it believes it will “energize the crew” and “entertain guests.” What do you think?

  • “I’m not sure it’s possible for me to be more entertained at the McDonald’s drive-thru, but hey, go for it!”

    Gerry Bryson Water Fountain Repairer
  • “I sure hope they can stick to that time frame, because my misgivings about eating at McDonald’s usually kick in around the 75-second mark.”

    Richard Sztaba Cord Untangler
  • “A free sandwich is the least they can offer for keeping me from eating something for a whole 60 seconds.”

    Susan Littenberg Unemployed

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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