McDonald’s To Add Chicken Wings To Menu

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

McDonald’s To Add Chicken Wings To Menu

Next month, coinciding with the start of football season, McDonald’s will begin a nationwide rollout of its new Mighty Wings, breaded bone-in chicken wings flavored with cayenne and chili pepper, which will be available through November. What do you think?

  • “I’m going to need to see a commercial where a guy saves a party with chicken wings before I commit to anything.”

    Rick Pickett
    Handkerchief Cutter
  • “It’s about time we had some food to eat while watching football.”

    Titus Leake
    Driving Instructor
  • “Wouldn’t it be easier if they just dumped chicken bones directly onto our city streets?”

    Stacy Bassler
    Paste Mixer