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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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McDonald’s To Offer New Fish McBites

McDonald’s announced the upcoming launch of Fish McBites, roughly McNugget-sized fried fish pieces that are made from the same substance as the company’s Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, I know what a McBite is. I’m not an idiot.”

    Elmer Youngreen Insecticide Sprayer
  • “Frankly, I think it’s unnatural to mold fish meat slurry into something other than a rectangle."

    Roxanne Boldroff Bill Collector
  • “Mmm! I love substance.”

    Dino Borthwick Souvenir Assembler
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