Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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McDonald's Unveils Healthier Image

Last week, McDonald's announced plans to offer healthier menu items and encourage its customers to get more exercise. What do you think?
  • "Their new 'infrasized meals,' where you can get one-third the food for an extra 99 cents, are definitely a step in the right direction."

    Donna Alexander Lab Assistant
  • "Every location should have an amusement-park-style plywood Grimace that says, 'You cannot enter this McDonald's if you're more than this wide.'"

    Jesse Perry Audiologist
  • "Those McDonald's anti-obesity campaign materials are soon to be the prized possessions of every hipster from here to Tacoma."

    Martin Bryant Systems Analyst
  • "I think it's brave. McDonald's is a very brave corporation."

    Bobby Melvin Nurse
  • "I guess those playlands don't provide as solid a total-body workout as previously thought."

    Tonia Coleman Promotions Manager
  • "Man, you can already smell the greasy stench of guilt every time you walk into a McDonald's. Do they have to lay more on?"

    Adam H. Ross Sales Clerk

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