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McMansions Done?

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Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

McMansions Done?

According to the results of a survey by the real estate website Trulia, Americans no longer want to buy the oversized houses that characterized the housing boom of the 2000s. What do you think?

  • "The time for that kind of extravagance may be over, but I have my eye on the perfect little gaudy, tasteless McStudio."

    Henry Roosevelt
    Systems Analyst
  • "But where will people park their midrange Lexuses?"

    Becky Franklin
    Geologist
  • "Damn it. I guess we'll have to burn down the top floor so we can fit in with everybody else."

    Roman Hamilton
    Salesman

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