Meat Factory Explodes

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Meat Factory Explodes

An Arkansas meatpacking plant exploded on Sunday, destroying the factory and forcing nearly 200 people living nearby to evacuate their homes. What do you think?
  • "It's nice to hear about a backwoods explosion that doesn't have anything to do with meth."

    Louis Dahlkemper
    Airline Pilot
  • "This is really frightening, but mostly because it means I might be able to project my thoughts into reality."

    Meridith Hume
    Sociology Professor
  • "If Upton Sinclair were alive today, he'd be running into the street for free meat just like the rest of us."

    Timothy Rudgers