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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Meat Factory Explodes

An Arkansas meatpacking plant exploded on Sunday, destroying the factory and forcing nearly 200 people living nearby to evacuate their homes. What do you think?
  • "It's nice to hear about a backwoods explosion that doesn't have anything to do with meth."

    Louis Dahlkemper Airline Pilot
  • "This is really frightening, but mostly because it means I might be able to project my thoughts into reality."

    Meridith Hume Sociology Professor
  • "If Upton Sinclair were alive today, he'd be running into the street for free meat just like the rest of us."

    Timothy Rudgers Receptionist
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