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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Meat Loaf Endorses Romney

Performing after the band Big & Rich at a Romney rally last night, Meat Loaf offered the candidate an unusual, rambling endorsement in which the 65-year-old rocker mentioned that he had never been involved in politics before, that the Cold War is not over, and that “Paul Ryan has not pushed [him] off the cliff in a wheelchair.” What do you think?

  • “Congratulations, Mitt, on your sweatiest endorsement yet.”

    Lucas Groom Marine Machinist
  • “He makes a good point, but I think, in a lot of ways, the Cold War is over.”

    Patricia Rosenthal Vocational Adviser
  • “Did Big & Rich by any chance mention who they were supporting for president?”

    Dennis Nykvist Systems Analyst
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