Media Credibility In Question

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Most Likely Candidates For Clinton’s Cabinet

If elected president, Hillary Clinton will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising her on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Clinton’s inner circle.

Man Votes Early To Get Week Bragging About It Out Of Way

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Saying he had been looking forward to casting his ballot and didn’t want to wait until November 8, local man David Keene, 36, reportedly voted early Thursday in order to get a week of bragging about it out of the way.

Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
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Media Credibility In Question

Last month, CNN retracted a story falsely accusing the U.S. military of using nerve gas on Vietnam defectors. Three weeks ago, The Cincinnati Enquirer printed a front-page apology to Chiquita for an exposé based on information gathered in an "unlawful and unethical" manner. The New Republic recently fired a staffer for quoting fictionalized sources in dozens of articles. What do you think about the credibility and accountability of the media?
  • "As long as the anchorperson reads the entire press release, there should be no danger of inaccurate reporting."

    Sandra Munson Opthamologist
  • "I, too, have been burned by the media. You'd think if it says, 'Petite SWF, 22,' she wouldn't look like Delta Burke."

    Chris Dent Data Technician
  • "I recently read a report in Bop stating that A.J. from Backstreet Boys loves to skateboard. This can't possibly be true... can it?"

    Richard Nettles Architect
  • "Aw, who cares? It's not like a well-informed public was essential to the functioning of a democracy or anything."

    Keith Chambliss Florist
  • "I wish journalism would return to its glory days, when principled, incorruptible men like William Randolph Hearst and Joseph Pulitzer were in charge."

    Vanessa Jackson Piano Teacher
  • "You know that anchorwoman Katie Dibble on Channel 12? She went to my high school, and I, like, totally fucked her."

    Randall Guidry Systems Analyst


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