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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Media Credibility In Question

Last month, CNN retracted a story falsely accusing the U.S. military of using nerve gas on Vietnam defectors. Three weeks ago, The Cincinnati Enquirer printed a front-page apology to Chiquita for an exposé based on information gathered in an "unlawful and unethical" manner. The New Republic recently fired a staffer for quoting fictionalized sources in dozens of articles. What do you think about the credibility and accountability of the media?
  • "As long as the anchorperson reads the entire press release, there should be no danger of inaccurate reporting."

    Sandra Munson Opthamologist
  • "I, too, have been burned by the media. You'd think if it says, 'Petite SWF, 22,' she wouldn't look like Delta Burke."

    Chris Dent Data Technician
  • "I recently read a report in Bop stating that A.J. from Backstreet Boys loves to skateboard. This can't possibly be true... can it?"

    Richard Nettles Architect
  • "Aw, who cares? It's not like a well-informed public was essential to the functioning of a democracy or anything."

    Keith Chambliss Florist
  • "I wish journalism would return to its glory days, when principled, incorruptible men like William Randolph Hearst and Joseph Pulitzer were in charge."

    Vanessa Jackson Piano Teacher
  • "You know that anchorwoman Katie Dibble on Channel 12? She went to my high school, and I, like, totally fucked her."

    Randall Guidry Systems Analyst

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