adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

Medical Tourism May Spread Superbug

A new strain of bacteria that is immune to most antibiotics has been found in patients who underwent surgery in India, and its imminent spread is worrying experts. What do you think?

  • "Why would you travel all the way to India for surgery when you can get third-world health care right here in your own backyard?"

    Natalya Clark Systems Analyst
  • "I don't give a shit. I've got a doctor in Bangalore who will take this bullet out of my neck without asking any questions."

    Eddie Bryant Mold Dresser
  • "Good thing I became a weirdo in 2007 and haven't left my house since."

    Carson Lamb Unemployed

More from this section

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close