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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Megan Fox To Star In 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'

After a well-publicized falling-out during the Transformers movies, Megan Fox has reportedly resolved her differences with Michael Bay and will star as reporter April O’Neil in the director’s upcoming update of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What do you think?

  • “Nothing brings feuding artists together like love of the classics.”

    Bud Fukai Stained Glass Artist
  • “I’m so impressed they were willing to put aside their differences in order to make millions and millions of dollars.”

    Duncan Soldo Duct Installer
  • “Cowabunga! Am I saying that right?”

    Mary Bentkowski Systems Analyst
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