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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Megan Fox To Star In 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'

After a well-publicized falling-out during the Transformers movies, Megan Fox has reportedly resolved her differences with Michael Bay and will star as reporter April O’Neil in the director’s upcoming update of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What do you think?

  • “Nothing brings feuding artists together like love of the classics.”

    Bud Fukai Stained Glass Artist
  • “I’m so impressed they were willing to put aside their differences in order to make millions and millions of dollars.”

    Duncan Soldo Duct Installer
  • “Cowabunga! Am I saying that right?”

    Mary Bentkowski Systems Analyst
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