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Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy

SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players’ brains are slimy.

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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‘Mein Kampf’ Returns To German Bookstores

Following the copyright expiration of Mein Kampf, the manifesto Hitler wrote from prison in 1925, the book has been released in Germany for the first time in 70 years and has sold out completely within days of its republication. What do you think?

  • “This is great news. You can’t fully appreciate the poetry of his hatred unless you read it in the original German.”

    Doug Woolney Code Reader
  • “This could get a whole new generation hooked on reading!”

    Tatiana Macklin Circus Groomer
  • “If people like manifestos, just wait until they see what I’ve been working on.”

    Jedd Boylan Systems Analyst

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