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Men Dressed As Mormon Missionaries Rob Home

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

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Men Dressed As Mormon Missionaries Rob Home

Two men dressed as Mormon missionaries rang the doorbell of a Las Vegas house and told the homeowner they wanted to speak with him about Jesus Christ, before pulling out a gun, assaulting the resident, entering his home, and stealing cash and iPads. What do you think?

  • “What’s the big deal? It’s like you’ve never been beaten up by missionaries before.”

    Willy Vonn
    Faucet Assembler
  • “As a resident of the Southwest, I can attest that Mormons are very friendly, hard-working, community-minded people. I’ve been creeped out by them maybe eight, nine times tops.”

    Dustin Filley
    Sisal Picker
  • “Are you trying to convert me to Mormonism right now? Because it’s working.”

    Estelle Steinkamp
    Linotype Machinist

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