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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Men Dressed As Mormon Missionaries Rob Home

Two men dressed as Mormon missionaries rang the doorbell of a Las Vegas house and told the homeowner they wanted to speak with him about Jesus Christ, before pulling out a gun, assaulting the resident, entering his home, and stealing cash and iPads. What do you think?

  • “What’s the big deal? It’s like you’ve never been beaten up by missionaries before.”

    Willy Vonn Faucet Assembler
  • “As a resident of the Southwest, I can attest that Mormons are very friendly, hard-working, community-minded people. I’ve been creeped out by them maybe eight, nine times tops.”

    Dustin Filley Sisal Picker
  • “Are you trying to convert me to Mormonism right now? Because it’s working.”

    Estelle Steinkamp Linotype Machinist
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