adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
End Of Section
  • More News

Men Think Women Who Listen To Them Are Sexier

According to a new study, men are more likely to be sexually attracted to women who listen to them and show “responsiveness” by being aware of what they are thinking and feeling, while female subjects were more likely to view responsiveness as a trick to get them to have sex. What do you think?

  • “It’s true that my most satisfying sexual experiences always take place over the phone.”

    Allan Burbage Bagel Slicer
  • “It’s a good quality to have, unless she’s one of those women who goes around and pays attention to every guy she’s having a conversation with.”

    Michael Nicotero Anesthesia Tester
  • “That’s why most pornography focuses so heavily on the importance of empathy.”

    Doug Stoughtman Seashell Collector
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close