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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Men Think Women Who Listen To Them Are Sexier

According to a new study, men are more likely to be sexually attracted to women who listen to them and show “responsiveness” by being aware of what they are thinking and feeling, while female subjects were more likely to view responsiveness as a trick to get them to have sex. What do you think?

  • “It’s true that my most satisfying sexual experiences always take place over the phone.”

    Allan Burbage Bagel Slicer
  • “It’s a good quality to have, unless she’s one of those women who goes around and pays attention to every guy she’s having a conversation with.”

    Michael Nicotero Anesthesia Tester
  • “That’s why most pornography focuses so heavily on the importance of empathy.”

    Doug Stoughtman Seashell Collector

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