adBlockCheck

Menopause Meds May Harm Kids

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Menopause Meds May Harm Kids

The Food and Drug Administration has warned that Evamist, a prescription spray used to control hot flashes in menopausal women, may cause premature breast development in children. What do you think?

  • "By any chance does this effect happen instantly, with a distinct popping sound?"

    Gary Bonniwell Construction Worker
  • "Maybe I'll store it with my weed and see if my teenage son wants grass bad enough to grow boobs."

    Terry Edgar Cashier
  • "Where I come from, premature breast development is not necessarily a bad thing. Where I come from is a terrible place."

    Sara Landon Mobile Phone Salesperson

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close