adBlockCheck

Men's Health Department Proposed

Top Headlines

Politics

Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine

Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Men's Health Department Proposed

Reps. Barron Hill (D-IN) and Tim Murphy (R-PA) introduced legislation that would create an Office of Men's Health within the Department of Health and Human Services. What do you think?
  • “The first item on their agenda should be finally locating the elusive penis.”

    Linda Fournier Name Plate Stamper
  • “Health is for women and children. I plan to live with chronic pain and die early of an easily preventable ailment, just like my father and grandfather before me.”

    Michael Chodat Systems Analyst
  • “I don’t understand. I’ve already taken a hunter-safety course and my father showed me how to use a circular saw back in grade school. What other health issues does a man even have to worry about?”

    Jim Summers Medical Technologist

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close