adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Men's Health Department Proposed

Reps. Barron Hill (D-IN) and Tim Murphy (R-PA) introduced legislation that would create an Office of Men's Health within the Department of Health and Human Services. What do you think?
  • “The first item on their agenda should be finally locating the elusive penis.”

    Linda Fournier Name Plate Stamper
  • “Health is for women and children. I plan to live with chronic pain and die early of an easily preventable ailment, just like my father and grandfather before me.”

    Michael Chodat Systems Analyst
  • “I don’t understand. I’ve already taken a hunter-safety course and my father showed me how to use a circular saw back in grade school. What other health issues does a man even have to worry about?”

    Jim Summers Medical Technologist

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close